Conquistadora- Reflection: Adolescence, Expose & Knowledge

Throughout reading about Ana’s childhood, I became immensely interested in the change that took place within her at the point where she uncovered the documents of her ancestor’s travels. Before she came across the vintage diaries, she had always considered herself an outlier in society. There was also somewhat of a negative feeling attached to this opinion of herself- the foundation of her judgment came from the stabilized ideologies of her European community. She understood that her expectations in life were not being met when she was immersed in the reality of her limitations. However, at that point in her youth there wasn’t a direct focus on what she was missing.

A lot of young adults feel this way when faced the daunting task of forming their identities. There is this gap where you recognize what you aren’t, but you’re not quite sure of what you are. Ana is going through the ominous phase that none of us want to relive- one of adolescence mayhem. This vulnerability to influences is what I find one of the most thought-provoking points in the novel. That she came across a journal full of treacherous voyages and prideful conquests is a fortunate occurrence. Those books were there the catalysts that impregnated her mind with images of untamable pride and voyages. Unconsciously, she was craving an inspirational text of substance.

However, these books that exposed her to the world beyond her balcony also made her dissatisfied with the mediocrity of everyday life. There existed the same feeling that follows those whose inspirations have brought their minds beyond their physical boundaries. Knowledge is both a blessing a curse. The stories of explorations molded her character in way that conflicted with her lifestyle. She wants to become an adventurer and play with the natural world, but that’s just impossible. Ana adores the engrossing concepts that color her thoughts, but she knows that they won’t form into feasible plans. I find this internal conflict both fascinating and familiar.

Like Ana, I’ve often immersed myself into books that depict a world of the past that can never exist again. I’ve sunk into literature that both rouse and motivate me to become something impossible- whether that be a character in Oscar Wilde’s fairy tales, a languid French poet, a wise bard from Mesopotamia, or even a 1960’s beatnik. With exposure, there is an inevitable pain that laches onto the pleasure of awakening. Even in sacred text, this theme is prominent. When Eve bit the apple from the tree of knowledge, her mind became aware of the vices and virtues of the human race. Ana gained the ability to judge, and with that she could evaluate what she possessed and lacked. Though ignorance is cushioning, it prevents the individual from experiencing the pleasure that’s fastened onto inevitable discomfort.

Conquistadora- Erikson's Stages- Trust vs. Mistrust

Erikson’s Stages of Development and Their Relevance in Ana’s Development

1. Trust vs. Mistrust

In this stage basic needs have to be met by parents. This is the stage where the child’s understanding of the world and society comes from parents and the parents’ interaction with the child. Parents who fail to provide warmth, regularity and dependable affection leads to mistrust.

In the first chapters we see that Ana’s parents failed to provide her with a secure trusting home environment. Due to 1830s-Spanish society’s perception of the ideal and idolized female, and Ana’s inability to fit that role, her parents disproved of her. Her childhood was a frustrating combination of rejection by the youth in her community, and disdain from her family. What she first discovered about her own society was perceived in the through years of alienation. For that reason she disregards many of the members of her community for their superficiality. She steers from the pettiness that engulfs the conversations among women in her society. However, her dislike for her particular urban European society differs from her perception of the rest of the world. From the journals of her ancestors she learned about the conquests and exploits that are possible beyond her world of limitations and confinement. Though Ana distrusts those around her and finds it difficult to take comfort in her current environment, she has a trust in the adventure promised by foreign lands. A part of this has to do with her obsession to control her own destiny. In her city, “well-raised senioritas in mid-nineteenth century Spain didn’t challenge their parents.” If she stayed within Spain, her future would imitate that of her mother, grandmother, and every female relative. It would be dull, shallow and hopeless. Her intense interest in intellectual endeavors and global travels would go unnoticed. In Sevilla, where she grew up, Ana never felt free, strong or capable. The conflict lies in society’s requirements for someone of her status, and her own opinion of her role as a female. However, in an uncharted territory, the regulations that chained her to her status don’t exist. In the wilderness and countryside she would not be forced to conform to the social norms.

Conquistadora- Mother-Daughter Relationship Conflict

Analysis of Mother-Daughter Relationship with reference to Oneness and Separateness; From Infant to Individual by Louis J Kaplan

Chapter 7: Coda- The Way of Life

“The cycle of female oppression will be reinforced as the mother turns away from her daughter when she does not embody the attributes the mother wished. Should the daughter strive to acquire such envied attributes, her mother will subtly undermine her ambition. Liberated women who have managed to soar above the commonplace traps of marriage and motherhood exhibit their … lofty contempt for domesticated women.”

Kaplan’s analysis of conflicting mother-daughter relationships is appropriate to consider when observing the relationship between Ana and her mother Jesusa. She bore little to no resemblance to the rest of her family, who were tall, light-haired and light-eyed men and women. The desire for a male heir made her feel both inferior and guilty as a young girl. She was blamed for her mother’s barren state, while being condemned for her gender. Ana’s childhood developed without a true female role model, for her own mother made sure to ignore her in both the public and private arena. “She wondered if other girls felt as she did, that she was of no consequence and unwanted by her parents. She resented Jesusa’s obvious detachment at the same time she tried, unsuccessfully to earn her love.” (pg 13)

With an imperious and criticizing mother, Ana strove to embody all the characteristics that her mother had not. In her teen years she developed an independent disposition that dared her to “take control of her own destiny.” Her unrelenting desire for adventure and individualism lead her to into libraries to acquire the knowledge that would separate her from her female peers. Complete independence of women in early 1800’s Spain was an unheard of indulgence, so she used charisma and intellect to manipulate her conservative society.

Conquistadora- Brief Summary of First Half

Esmerealda Santiago’s historical novel Conquistadora unfolds the adventurous and heroic life of Ana (short for Gloriosa Ana Maria de los Angeles Larragoity Cubillas Nieves de Donostia) who is a zealous yet charming young woman form the mid 19^th century. The desire for a male heir made her family both dismissive and contemptuous towards her, so her childhood is deprived of both family comfort and social acceptance. That solitude then leads her to find comfort in the journals of her ambitious ancestors who glorified their names through conquest. Though her unloving home environment isolated her, she gains an incredible intellect and an agile and creative mind. The journals of her ancestors feed her ideas of wilderness, explorations, foreign conquests, and travels. As a girl swaddled by the expectations of her social class, she feels despair in the reality of her limitations. However, through wit and charm, she attaches herself to people who provide the possibility of courageous excursions and global travels. Young marriage and loving friendship lead her to travel the seas to Puerto Rico, where she will both tame her adventurous desires and begin new exploits. She remains undaunted while facing the conflicts of conquest, oppression, disease, and travel.